Second City Supers!

Personal Correspondence

Subject: Thanks

Dr. Smith,

Thank you for your frank and perspicacious comments. I always find your observations to be useful, pertinent, and logically impregnable.

Unfortunately, it would appear that not everyone shares my opinion in that regard. In examining the media response to our latest television appearance, I noticed that many people were taken aback by your assertions that we were “clearly superior” to mundane law enforcement, especially in dealing with metahuman threats. This incited something of a panic on the internet – forum debates about “homo superior,” “the metahuman revolution” and so forth. I also saw that your recent email blast re: the exploding pirate ship, failed to assuage the fears of many citizens re: fallout.

In the spirit of teamwork, I would like to do you a favor in return for the one you have done me. Your intellect, and your capacity for logical deduction are unparalleled. However, you lack tact. While tactfulness might seem a specious virtue, it can often be the deciding factor between successful public relations, and a riotous populace.

As a practiced “people person,” I believe that I can help you to develop tact, and other skills such that you can address social situations with complete efficacy; you may notice that in spite of When’s concerted disparagement of me during our television appearance, most of the public response is in my favor. If you peruse the various comments posted on YouTube recordings of the interview, you’ll note that I am described as “articulate,” “composed,” and “well-meaning,” while When is frequently decried as a “biatch.” Note that I never once ascribed that appellation to her, nor made any other insult. I cite this as affirmation of my abilities, and as proof of the power of tact.

Assuming you will allow me to help you as you have helped me, let me give you one basic guideline to start with: if you want to say something, but are not sure you can express it tactfully, don’t say it. It is better to say nothing than to express something poorly, and thereby introduce uncontrolled variables into the interaction. Remember, this applies to how you express an idea, in addition to the content of the idea itself.

If you ever have questions regarding a tactful way to express a specific idea, feel free to take me aside and ask whether a given statement is appropriate to the situation at hand. There is no need to be tactful with me – indeed, if you were anything but completely forthright with me, it would impair my ability to assist you. I am sure that When, and Dark Frost would be happy to help as well, though I have misgivings as to how effective their instruction might be. However, I trust that you possess the mental acuity to make such judgments for yourself.

Thank you again, for your comments. I hope I may be as helpful to you as you have been to me.


PS – I will address the other specific concerns you raised re: my abilities, my mission etc. in a letter to the Team, which will be forthcoming shortly.


I would not be happy to help. The procedures of public speaking continue to mystify me.

Personal Correspondence

OOC: I have sent this only to Von Neumann Prime.

Personal Correspondence

Subject: Re: Thanks
Attachments: email_correspondence.tar [344.6 GB]

Dear Agent Grey,

Your recognition of my abilities is most gratifying. I likewise appreciate the offer of help, and this email is to express my intention to take you up on said offer.

In response to my initial email to the residents of Chicago and its environs, I received 18,744 responses, the vast majority of which missed my point entirely. But when I subsequently provided the raw data from my sensors to all of these citizens so they could perform their own analysis confirming mine, few saw fit to take me up on the offer. Of those that did, every single one committed obvious flaws or made significant omissions in their argumentation and/or analysis. Needless to say, I was most disappointed that no amount of evidence was able to get through to these supposed “independent thinkers”.

All this is to say that, with your help, I intend to test your hypothesis regarding the futility of arguing with human beings solely on the evidential merits of an idea (as well as your subsidiary hypothesis that I lack sufficient tact when engaging in such argumentation). So instead of responding substantively to these 18,744 individuals again, I replied solely with “No comment”. This should obviate your concerns regarding any “uncontrolled variables” introduced by my alleged tactlessness; furthermore, as I understand it “No comment” is also a widely utilized response by political and legal elites that is specifically engineered to resolve any lingering doubts possessed by their detractors.

At the same time, on the minute chance that this approach does not accomplish what I desire, I have attached to this email the entirety of my correspondence with all 18,744 citizens for your perusal and suggested “tactful” emendations. Any feedback you could offer to these by, say, next Thursday will be given the utmost consideration by me prior to any future correspondence.

Your colleague,
Dr. Rudolph Smith/VonNeumann Prime

Personal Correspondence

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