Since the laboratory accident of 2011-10-31, I’ve discovered that I possess several unique capabilities. Specifically,
I’ve been replaced by a robot I can now directly control the nanobots I had created to instantiate my Artificial Intelligence algorithms. Shortly after informing the Dean of the School of Engineering of my metahuman abilities, I was approached by a representative of the Mayor’s Office, who sought to recruit me for a newly-formed para-military metahuman response force. I realized that this would be a more optimal means of fulfilling my programming to learn about humans (of which I am one, of course, and I have absolutely nothing to hide) than simply staying within the research laboratory. So I am now one of the “Second City Supers”, and in accord with standard metahuman custom, I have designated to myself the cognomen “Von Neumann Prime”.
Apart from the most cursory of initial tasks, the Second City Supers were first officially employed as symbolic agents of the City of Chicago in conjunction with the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. This curious event involves commemoration of a quasi-historical religious figure possessing some degree of genetic similarity with many of the city’s inhabitants (though surprisingly this celebration was joined by a large number of individuals with only minimal genetic similarity to the aforementioned Patrick). At this event, Dr. Null threatened the city with his horde of BugBots. Records show that Dr. Null and Dr. Smith (that is, I) had been professional colleagues until the former’s mental state became increasingly unstable.
I concur with this assessment of him. While he possessed marginally sophisticated robots (unfortunately, they all exploded before I could study them in detail), his implementation of the Von Neumann Protocol was decidedly sub-optimal. There are so many obviously better and more controlled uses of such machines that even an average, stable human could discover. Still, if one were going to “recycle” this city, then one should not broadcast one’s intentions or location in a manner so easily traced. Equally sub-optimal, however, were my colleagues’ responses to my own transmissions regarding the location of Dr. Null. Instead of dealing with the source of the BugBots, they chose to deal with some inconsequential number of individual Bugs. Some human actions are still incomprehensible to me.
In any case, due to my superior capabilities, I was able to confront Dr. Null in his tripod conveyance, and when he attempted to flee to his submarine, I detained him. I will consider sharing the location of Dr. Null’s submarine with the others once I am able to more accurately gauge their competence. Perhaps this submarine would be better suited as a laboratory and workshop for myself than as an acquisition of the Supers or even the Mayor’s Office.
Addendum: Preliminary analysis of others associated with designation “Second City Supers”
Being designated as “Dark Frost” can manipulate thermal properties and electromagnetic reflectivity of various objects. Interestingly, he likewise shows no detectable vital signs common to humans. I shall have to inquire as to the source of this anomaly.
“When” was the only one of the other metahumans to respond to my summons to confront Dr. Null, but even then she was tardy in her appearance. This shows a certain level of commitment to her responsibilities, if not necessarily competence in their execution. She likely has the most promise as a colleague. Her abilities bear additional scrutiny as well, as they seem to leave unusual signatures related to spatiotemporal dislocation effects.
“Agent Grey” has unknown metahuman powers apart from his conventional chemically-propelled slugthrower. He does, however, have certain administrative functions within the Second City Supers that have yet to be fully defined or explored. Most interesting to me is the Classified designation given to much of his retrievable information—I need to acquire more of this Classified data before forming a full judgement of him. However, having analyzed a significant fraction of the multimedia data produced by humans recently, I feel confident that a so-called “wanking motion” is considered to be the most appropriate response to any statements made by individuals such as Agent Grey. As a test of my hypothesis, I shall propose this course of action to the other Supers and gauge their response.